If you've recently broken up with your partner, you may feel hurt and bewildered. On the one hand, you may be relieved that your ex is no longer in your life. Maybe you've started dreaming about the new start that awaits you, or perhaps you're even celebrating their departure.
If you've recently broken up with your partner, you may feel hurt and bewildered.
On the one hand, you may be relieved that your ex is no longer in your life. Maybe you've started dreaming about the new start that awaits you, or perhaps you're even celebrating their departure.
At the same time, though, a part of you might miss them, even though there was a good reason for you two to break up. Sometimes it might because the other person mistreated you. Sometimes it might just be their own decision. But even that proves that they weren't the right person for you.
If you love somebody, it just feels impossible to shut down your feelings overnight.
It is normal to feel a conflicting range of emotions, and they may linger for many weeks or months.
Remember, feelings don't always make sense. Sometimes, you just need to accept that they'll take time to ebb away.
Luckily, you can speed up your recovery by treating yourself well.
Here are five things to do after breaking up:
1) Travel alone
Your relationship might have left you feeling unsure of your identity or stripped you of your confidence.
You might even think that you are no longer capable of making your decisions on your own and caring for yourself.
Challenge those beliefs directly by taking a special trip just for one.
You don’t need to go far; only a weekend away in a new town can boost your confidence.
Pick a couple of local attractions and just immerse yourself in your new surroundings.
2) Express your emotions in writing
Journaling is a famous hobby for a reason, as it's a wonderful way to express painful thoughts and feelings.
Buy a notebook and start writing, drawing, or making collages.
You don’t have to show anybody else what you’ve done, so do not worry whether your journal entries are good enough or whether they make sense.
3) Try a new activity
By the time you break up from a long-term relationship, you may not know who you are or what you enjoy.
You might have lost interest in your former activities.
Set aside at least half an hour twice a week or more to explore new hobbies or engage with something you loved before meeting your ex-partner.
4) Learn how to prevent yourself from making the same mistakes in the future
Anybody who has survived a failed relationship knows that learning how to identify energy vampires, narcissists, or anyone who is just not the right one for them.
Do some reading on unhealthy relationship dynamics, and the red flags that indicate when it’s time to break up.
Even if you don’t intend to get into another relationship, this knowledge will help you deal with other people, like friends and colleagues.
5) Never call them, no matter how much you want to
It may seem pretty obvious, but most of us don't realize how much easier it would be to get over someone if they just didn't call them - never!
You may want nothing more than to see or speak to your ex-partner.
Maybe you want to beg them to return, although they have nothing positive to offer you, or maybe you're fantasizing about starting an argument in which you let them know precisely how awful they’ve been.
Reaching out or responding to your ex's messages might feel gratifying in the short term, but if you want to heal from a failed relationship, the only option is to go cold turkey.
Stop talking to your ex-partner, delete their number, block them on social media, and don’t pick up the phone when they call. It is easier said than done, but it'll save you from a lot of misery.
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